Saturday, September 5, 2009

Clothes That Don't Fit Anybody Anymore

Mama couldn't throw anything away.

She passed away in July and now my sister and I have all this....stuff to go through. Why? Why would someone keep a box of old socks? Or a box of plastic lids? Or boxes and boxes of magazines from the seventies? Broken knicknacks, broken furniture, broken appliances, all the leftovers of forty years in this house.

Now she's gone and all I feel is anger. The truth about my mother is she was a strong willed, domineering woman. And out of her grandchildren and great grandchildren she picked favorites and actively disliked others. For no reason. And the one she disliked the most stayed with her when she was bedridden and tenderly fed her and changed her every day. Her favorites took advantage of her all their lives. My sister and I told her they were taking advantage of her but she wouldn't listen. When she died all her money and valuables were gone and all that's left is a rundown house and all this broken stuff. We had to borrow money to bury her. I'm so angry, angry with her and angry with myself that I didn't do more to stop what she was doing.

It's a terrible thing when a grandparent plays favorites in such an obvious way. So much bitterness and hurt feelings tore the family apart.

I hesitate to post this, don't say bad things about the dead and all that, but I needed to say it so now I did.


Anonymous said...

oh, just cause she's dead doesn't mean you can't say what you feel. get it all out, then you can let her go then turn a corner and get back to creating the beauty that you do.

you don't need to post this - i just wanted to let you know that i hear ya, sister.

edifice rex said...

Hey Patsy! Let me tell you , it is that way in every family. EVERY family I guarantee you. The ones they treat the worst are the ones that will be there to take care of them.
I hate to speak ill of my father, since he has passed, so I just don't say anything usually but sometimes you got to get it out. Sometimes I get so pissed at him but then I realize he was a good influence in that he taught me, very well, how NOT to be.

countrypeapie said...

I sympathize with having to go through the remains of the years. I hope I never leave my children to face piles of unwanted stuff after I'm gone. Lee's grandmother died almost a year ago, and we are still making trips to Montgomery to dispose of it all.

My maternal great grandmother and grandmother played favorites with their children, too. So damaging. I admire your honesty.

Patsy said...

Thank you all.

Anon, you know how much this has affected me and now it's in my face again.

E.D., me too. I definitely learned how NOT to be.

C.P.P It has been so damaging to relationships in the family. Now going through this stuff and seeing everything that's NOT there - things of great sentimental value, Daddy's war souvenirs, Grandpa's little coal stove, Daddy's tools. etc. - no one has them, they were taken and sold, gone forever. I need to let it go but I can't right now because I have to look at it all the time.

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